Just because Jason is in Peru doesn't mean that he isn't still around. Proof of this statement? A couple nights ago, he was in my dream. YES, OUR BELOVED JASON D CALL, the original Mister Peru, was drifting casually in my mind, like an oneironaut (its a real word. google it!).
Jason and I had gone camping, which is odd because a) I've only been camping once in my life, b) I had the stomach flu and c) I don't remember the trip. Sometime during this trip, we went into a cave to hide from bears. The cave was dark and wet, but somehow, I could still see Jason. Then the weirdness began. Apparently, the bears were attracted to saliva, and if you're hiding from a bear who wants to rip your insides out, you don't want to be covered in saliva. TELL THAT TO DREAM JASON. He kept licking my face and ears and despite my pleas, he wouldn't stop. I eventually got him to start licking rocks instead, but every time he'd lick a rock, he would shove it in my purse without telling me. Okay, stop a second, the purse deal; not just any purse, but my $1400 Fendi spy tote. Not exactly something I want saliva covered, killer bear attracting rocks in. Eventually, we were able to leave the cave, but as we were walking away, a cub started to follow us. I was freaking out and yelling at Jason, screaming about this baby monster chasing us, and he yelled, "IT WANTS YOUR PURSE!" I didn't understand, because why would a bear want a purse, and I was hysterical from crying. I didn't want to die.
That's the end of the dream. I'm sure everyone has had a Jason dream at some point, whether he's attracting killer bears to your hiding spot, making you dinner or just sitting on your kitchen floor playing guitar with your grandma's dead cat. In the end, we all miss you, Jason, and can't wait for you to come back.